YuGiOh! Winning Europe
by CallieMikey
Summary: This was just to let out my stress on. Please review! I promise it to be very funny! All the characters are going to Europe, and...well, Ryou and Callie give you an overveiw! ^_^ *CHAPTER 5 UP* joey/mai, seto/oc, isis/nottellin', t/Ser, Te/Yu...
1. EUROPE, HERE WE COME!

Me (call me Fey, for now, ok?): Okay, I was bored, and I refused to work on my stories, sooooo…

Bakura: She made a little…something. Which is weird. Who the hell knows what goes through her mind?!

Fey: (to him) Shut up. (to you) Sorry, I needed to write a funny and insane story. Read my other stories. Please? PLEEEAAASE?!

Disclaimer: Own only story and plot! And Callie! And other peeps you mightn't recognize. Oh, and YuGiOh! *gets glares from lawyers* Eep! Not yet, though! …Anyone know if Kazuki Takahasi's single? I have a cousin he'd fall in love with…*cackles*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Callie: (waves at you) Hi.

Joey: (behind her, sitting with Malik, Marik, Serenity, Isis, Yami, Yugi, Tristan, Mai, Ryou, Bakura, and Téa in Kaiba's living room) Callie, what are you doing?

Callie: (with her finger against the computer glass) Talking to the peoples!

All: ???

Callie: (sighs) I dun think they know you exist. (meaning YOU) 

Ryou: I can see them. (to you, again) 'Kay, we're going to Europe for vacation. Well, it's really for Domino high school…but it's just like vacay for us. ^_^ And, uh, the people who are going are… (looks at Callie, who's been humming the Aretha Franklin song, "Respect", and has her eyes on the ground)

Callie: Nani? Oh! …Are Ryou, Bakura, Mai, Joey, Tristan, Yugi, Yami, Malik, Marik, Isis, and, uh, Seto. Oh, and Téa, Serenity. And Ryou's sister, Nakuru. (A/N: I have no idea about her, except her family, okay?!)

Ryou: And you.

Callie: Right, and me. My yami dun wanna come 'cause she's working on a science experiment…another one.

Ryou: …Hai, and Seto Kaiba is letting us borrow to limos. ^_^  Limos are always fun to ride in! (comes back to the group)

Callie: (does the same)

Mai: Can I drive one of them?

Yugi:  I don't know. Can you? 

Mai: I'm sixteen! Yes, I can! (rolls eyes)

Yugi: Ask Kaiba, then.

Joey: Dude. He'd say no.

Tristan: Dude. He's supposed be our friend.

Joey: Dude. Are you joshin' me? He is so not.

Tristan: Dude. He's lending us limousines.

Joey: Dude! He has a million of them.

Tristan: Dude! He's sharing!

Joey: Dude!

Tristan: Dude!

Téa: SHUT UP!

Serenity:  Besides, what about 'dudettes'?

All except Callie: Uhh…???

Callie: Yeah, I know, right. What are you guys, gender-ist? (A/N: My word! Mine!)

Yami: Uh, gender-ist?

Callie: Yup. Doesn't the other way make you the least bit uncomfortable?

Malik: Oh. (suddenly gets it) OOOOHHH! Okay. ^_^

Marik: Téa…

Téa: (a bit scared) Yeessss…

Marik: Are you going to do another friendship spiel?

Téa:  Well. That was random.

Callie: NO! Marik, you evil…thing! **_I_** am the Queen of all things Random and Insane!!! How dare you steal my title?!

Ryou, Malik, Isis, Yugi, Yami, and Serenity: (used to it)

All others except the mentioned above: (totally aren't)

Bakura: WTF??! What are you playing at, Princess?! (Callie is the reincarnation of Yugi's sister when Yugi was Pharaoh)

Callie: Did they shake you up? Good. I have to call Kaiba. (proceeds to walk upstairs)

Joey: DON'T GO UP THERE!!!

Callie: Why not?

Yugi: Who knows what he does up there?!

All except Callie and Serenity: Eww! Nasty thoughts, Yugi! NASTY THOUGHTS!!!

Kaiba: (finally comes down) Nani?

Isis: What were you doing up there?

All: (tense)

Kaiba: Calling…a…baby-sitter…What'd you think?!

All: (mumbling) Nothing. 

Everyone went out to the cars, which already have their entire luggage. Mai is in the first one, driving, Joey's in the back seat with Téa and Isis. Then behind them is Callie, who's in between Ryou and Bakura, who's next to Malik. 

In the other limo, Yami's the driver, Yugi, Tristan, and Serenity are in the next seats behind him. And Nakuru is in between Marik and Seto.

Callie: (takes out the book _Angela's Ashes_ by Frank McCourt) (starts reading silently)

Ryou, Bakura: (read over her shoulders) O.O

Callie: (looks at both of them) What?

Bakura: What's a car?

Callie: We're in one of those, you idiot!

Ryou: (takes book from Callie) Do you get his?

Callie: …No. Not at all.

Ryou: Then don't read it! (throws it out the window, where an innocent bystander finds it)

Innocent Bystander: Oh! (starts reading) O.O

Ryou: (groans when he sees this) Uh, Callie? Maybe you should get permission from Yami or something before you read something like that.

Callie: Uh. Okay. That book scared me anyway.

Mai: (puts on cool drivers' hat) (chews gum) LET'S HIT THE ROAD!!

Joey: YaY! ^_^ Kick-ass!

Mai: (turns and glares)

Joey: (considerably shrinks)

Téa: (doodling on the backseat with PERMANENT MARKER!!! (GASP))

In the other car…

Yami: (sees Mai's hat) I wanna hat like that!

Marik: Anyone seen my Rod?

Yami, Tristan, Seto: (snicker)

Marik: What?

Seto: (sees Téa with marker) TÉA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY CAR?!

Nakuru: (turns to Serenity)(holds up a box of Valentine chocolate) Want some?

Serenity: (cautious) Isn't it a bit old?

Nakuru: No. My brother gave it to me late today.

Serenity: Aww. How sweet. (takes one)

Tristan: (takes one as well)

Marik: If you give me my Rod, I'll give you a hat like Mai's!

Yami: (just snickers louder)

Mai and Yami: (start to drive to the airport…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fey: Well.

Bakura: That was dumb.

Fey: Ya know what, I agree, blood-boy.

Please Review people!!!! (puppy eyes) (can't do it)

Ryou: (puppy eyes) Pweases?!


	2. Lalalala

Fey: I TOLD you I was bored!

Bakura: Hehehe…

Fey: Uhh…(doesn't want to know)

Bakura: Fey…does..not..own…YuGiOh! I own them! There all mine! MY SLAVES!!! Mwuahahaha!!! 

Fey: (rises her eyebrows)

Bakura: Ahah…hahaha..ha. Ahem. No I don't. We are all Kazuki Takahashi's creations. And the songs are owned by whoever.

Fey: 'Cept anyone ya don't recognize. And me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone had gotten pretty bored. 

In the first car, Mai was so bored, in fact, she sped up in her driving. She was then stopped by a cop.

Cop: (waddles over)

Callie: Oh no! What're we gonna do?

Téa, Joey: (are worried)

Ryou: (freaked out by the cop, but comforting Callie)

Malik: (stabbing various objects with his M.Rod. Like the windows)

Isis: (indifferent)

Bakura: (grinning all weird)

Isis: (_now_ she's worried)

Callie: What do we do?

Mai: (smiles) Watch and learn.

Cop: (comes up to window) Excuse…me, miss?

Mai: (oh-so innocently) Is there a problem, officer?

Cop: Yeah…you…were..goin'..a bit too…(zones out)

Mai: (surprised) (snaps her fingers in his face)

Cop: Huh? Wha? Oh yeah…fast.

Mai: Oh, sir, I'm _so_ sorry. (bats eyelashes)

Cop: Well…

Mai: (practically purring) I promise not to do it again. _Promise_.

Cop: (blushes) Uh…oh…(zones out once more)

Isis: We're getting delayed! (takes her brother's M.Rod ("Hey!") and hits the guy with it)

Cop: x_X 

All: (sweatdrop)

Isis: Well? Let's go!

Mai: (zooms off)

Cop: Bye. Don't be crossing the speed limit now! (falls--again)

*

Mai had put on _No Doubt_. Before, she'd been boppin' to the music. Now she was just flipping through channels on the radio, and no one in the car could decide which song to pick. Especially Bakura. Gods, for a tomb robber, he was **picky**. She had spit her gum out the window, and was on her seventh piece.

"Upside Down! My grades are down, from As to Bs. I'm way behind in hi—" [A*Teens] 

Bakura: No way! Who wants to listen to some Swedish fish talk about homework?!

(click) "We playin' bas-ket-ball…we—"  [Lil' Bow Wow] 

Bakura: Basketball is stupid and for idiots who believe they can fly.

Isis: (nods)

Mai: (frowns)

Joey, Téa, Callie: (all play basketball) _Hey!_

(click) _"Why'd you have to go make things so complicated—"  _[Avril Lavigne]

Malik: This girl puts on too much eye shadow!

All except him: (roll there eyes at this comment about makeup)

(click) "La la la la la, and now the bells are ringin'! La la la la la, la la la—" [A C something or other] 

Mai: Okay, now that is just **annoying**.

(click) _"Lookin' back on things I've done, I was tryin' to be someone—" _[Backstreet boys]

Téa: (screams loudly and covers her head with her hands) BAD MEMORIES! NO! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!

Mai: (turns around) Are you okay?!

Malik: Keep them purple eyes on the road!!

Mai: (does so)

Téa: (rocking back and forth while Isis and Joey are trying to comfort her) Oooh. The pain. The paaaiin…

(click) _"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there…with open arms and open eyes, y—" _[Incubus]

Ryou: I like this song!

Callie: I like it, but it's to sad. ;_;

Bakura: (smiles evilly) Reminds me of blood!

All others: (look at Mai and nod)

Mai: (changes station immediately)

(click) _"But now I'm stronger than yesterday!! (clap clap) Now there's nothing buttin' _ _my waay…" _ [Brittany Spears]

All: (all start screaming)

Isis: (wildly) TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!!

Mai: I'm trying! (look of utmost horror) NOTHING'S HAPPENING! (screams)

All: (follow suit) 

"My loneliness ain't killin' me no more!!…" 

In the other car…

Seto: (looking in the other car) What are they doing in there?

All except Yami: (turn to look) 

Serenity: Oh, I hope my brother's okay in there…

Nakuru: Mine too…

Yami: (trying to fit cool hat Marik gave him over his head) (had given Marik a FAKE Millennium Rod)

Marik: (points fake M. Rod to Tristan, who's secretly eating all of Nakuru's chocolates) Mind Control!

Tristan: (blinks and pulls on M. Rod) (gold wrapping comes off) It's chocolate!

Marik: (very angry) Yamiiiiiiii….

Yami: Naniiiiii?

Marik: (pounces on Yami)

Yami, Malik: (are fighting)

It was about now that the car went out of control. Seto reached for the wheel, but he was being squished by the two yamis.  
  


*

Finally, they reached the airport. They parked in those buildings that are specially designed for cars.

Seto: (walking over to the guy who drives your car to the parking spaces) Here. (hands him a steering wheel)

Guy: O.o

Weird Voice over loud-speaker:  _Flight 747, now boarding. I repeat, Flight 747, now boarding._

Bakura: WTF?! What was that?! Where'd it come from?!

Seto: You brain-dead son of a…(remembers Serenity and Callie, who are both the youngest) That's the loudspeaker! . Honestly…

Bakura: Oh. Where is it?

All: Never mind!

Bakura: (pause) Okay.

Yami: That's our flight, let's go.

Joey: Already?

Nakuru: Hey! Who stole my chocolate?! (angry) :(

Tristan: Uh…oh…

~~~~~~~~~~~

Fey: (giggles) Review people!

Bakura: And, next…

Together: THE PLANE!!! (both cackle evilly)


	3. Movies!

Fey: Hey Everybody!

Bakura: (waves) (talks fast) Feydoesnotownanythingyourecognizehereandifyoudotoobadcauseshedon'townit!!!!

Fey: Hey, yer getting' better at this! ^_^

Bakura: Arigatou! ^_^ I was thinking…Delta or British Airways?

Fey: Delta's stupid! Besides, British Airways has a TV!!!!!!

Bakura: Okay, then!

***

All of them were walking down the small path the plane people give you on their way to the plane.

Yami: Wow! This is so cool!

Marik: What, never seen a plane before?

Yami: Why, have you?

Marik: …no.

Yami: Hah!

Callie: (notices people staring at her hair and whispering) WHAT?! NEVER SEEN A GIRL WITH ELECTRIC BLUE BANGS BEFORE?!

People: 0.0 Eep. (look away)

Callie: By Ra…why does everyone stare at my hair?

Ryou: Because it's so pretty…? (relizes what he said and blushes)

Callie: (blushes too)

Nakuru: (pounces on Ryou, her brother, and gives him a noogie)(singsong voice) Hahahaha! Ryou's got a crush! Ryou's got a crush!

Ryou: EEE! No I don't!!!!

Callie: (watches cluelessly) ^_^ ?

Serenity: (giggles)

Malik: Hey, isn't that?

Tristan: It's Ushio!!!! Yaaah!!! (suddenly) Uhh…I don't feel good…

Nakuru: (drops Ryou) Oh! SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ATE MY CHOCOLATES!!!!???? (runs after Tristan down the plane path)

Ryou: Oh no. Ushio?!

Joey, Yugi: USHIO?!

Ushio: Eh heh heh heh…. (acts and is an idiot) (A/N: Ushio is the bully that beat up Ryou, Yugi, Joey, and Tristan!)

Bakura: So this is the guy that beat up my hikari, eh? (gets ready to fight)

Yami: Mine too. (gets ready as well)

Callie: (run/jumps between them and past them) I wanna do it!

Yami: It's too dangerous! (looks sternly at her and puts one hand on her shoulder)

Bakura: Yeah, he's like, ten times taller than you, girl! (puts his hand on her other shoulder)

Callie: (getting anime-temples) Are…you..saying..I can't do it?

Yami: Uhh…

Bakura: Yes! You're too small! Let us take care of that guy!

Yami: Bakura, you really shouldn't…

Callie: Grrr…(punches Bakura up to the sky, but the sky's covered, so he bangs the ceiling)

Yami: (watching) (shouts at Bakura) I told ya so!

Bakura: Owie. (massages big bump on head) Shuddup.

Callie: (goes up to Ushio)

Ushio: **_You?!_**

Callie: (glares) You guys go on up ahead. (pulls up her sleeves and throws her carry-on bag to Téa)

Téa: (catches it) Be careful!

Mai: (worried and frowns)

All: (go on ahead)

Seto: Are you sure you should let her…?

Yugi: I have to live with her. She's usually very kawaii-chan, but…

Suddenly, Ushio's voice was heard.

Ushio: AAAAhhh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh! Nnooo!!!!!!! Noooo…Waaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!…(cries of total agony)

Then, there were sounds of something breaking.

Sounds: Crack! Crash! Bang! Whoopsie!

Isis: Uh…whoopsie?

Marik: I didn't know when something broke it sounded like "whoopsie!".

Mai: I think that was Callie.

Callie: (comes back and takes her bag from Téa) Nani? Nand-Nandu? Why are you all staring at me?

Malik: What'd you do to him?

Callie: (grins evilly, sort of like Bakura) You don't wanna know.

All: (gulp)

Joey: C'mon! We're getting late!

All: (run into plane and get seats)

***

Fey: Maybe I should just stop here…

Bakura: (bonks her on the head)

Fey: X_x Okay, maybe not! (falls over)

***

This is the order they're sitting in, and, since it's a pretty big plane, there is two seats on one side, then the aisle, then four seats, and then the aisle, then two seats again.

In the first row: Seto, Nakuru, (aisle) Serenity, Tristan, Mai, Joey, (aisle) Yugi, Yami.

In the second row ala behind them: Téa, Malik, (aisle) Ryou, Callie, Bakura, some blonde girl no one knows, (aisle) Marik, Isis.

Tristan: (with a bump on his head from Nakuru and Serenity—he's been beat up by two of his best friends' sisters!) Hey, look they have TVs! (points to the back of the seat)

Joey: Cool! I wanna see _Rush Hour 2_!

Mai: I wanna see _Legally Blonde_!

Tristan: I wanna see _Die Hard_!

Seto: I wanna see _Daredevil_!

Téa: I wanna see _Miss Congeniality_!

Nakuru: I wanna see _Simone_!

Yugi: I wanna see _Die Another Day_!

Yami: I wanna see _The Matrix_!

Ryou: I wanna see _The Two Towers_!

Callie: Hey! . I wanna see that, or _Charlie's Angels_!

Bakura: I wanna see _The Ring_!

All: (shiver)

Bakura: Or _The Others_!

Callie: Nyaah..that was creepy.

Ryou: (pretending) What have you done with my daughter?

Callie: (same) (creepy British accent and high-pitched voice) I _am_ your daughter!

Malik: I wanna see _American Pie 2_!

Marik: I wanna see _Don't Say a Word_!

All: That was creepy…

Isis: I wanna see _Elizabeth_!

Serenity: I wanna see…uh…(can't make up her mind)

All except Bakura: (wait politely and patiently)

Bakura: (already ignoring them and flipping through channels)

Serenity: Uh…_Shakespeare in Love_! …I guess. (sweatdrop)

All: (look at screen and see following words)

You will be forced to read bad stories!

All: Uhh…

Starting now!

Téa: Well, at least we have a warning!

Onze zere waz a guy.

Seto: (rolls eyes) How descriptive.

Callie: Don't encourage the person. We'll prob'bly learn more than we wanna know.

He waz a virgin.

Bakura: O.o She was right. (tries to change channel…or something) (can't do it)

I meanuh vegan.

Marik: Oh. What's that?

Isis: A person who doesn't eat meat or any dairy products, I think.

dis made himmed skinny.

Yami: This is getting confusing.

odo! 'je suis tooofarry/////////!!!!!!!

All: ??????? -_-;;

Yugi: This is hard to read!

Malik: What does it say?

Mai: "Odo" might be "Oh No!"…

Callie: And in French, "Je suis" means "I am"

Ryou: I think "too" has a "o" too many.

Joey: What's "farry"?!

Serenity: And what's with the slanty things?

All:???

Je suis so FAT!!!

All: But, it just said…he was skinny…

Blonde Girl: (leaning over Bakura's shoulder) Maybe he's an anorexic?

Bakura: Would you get off me?!

Blonde Girl: (doesn't)

lalalala! I will jump off a cliff! My name is Yugi!

All except Yugi and Marik-baka: **_NOOO!! YUGI, DON'T DO IT!!!_**

Yugi: (sweatdrop) _I'm right here!_

Marik: (hates everybody's guts)

***

Bakura: Guts are flammable! (copyright of Sungirl!)

Fey: Shut the hole in your face! (bops him)

Bakura:  T_T I have four…no, five holes in my face. See, my mouth, my two eyes, my nostrils…

Fey: SHADDUP! (bops him harder)

Bakura: x_X;;;

***

Ryou: Anyone notice how random the fact he said, "My name is Yugi"?

Callie: Aaah! People keep trying to steal my title! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! **_I_** AM THE QUEEN OF ALL THINGS RANDOM AND INSANE!!!!! (looks suspiciously at everyone)

Oh! Someone caught me!!!! 

All: GOOD!

Yugi: (sweatdrop) B-but, I'm right here…

Her name is…

Téa: …Mai!

Serenity: …Téa!

Mai: …Callie!

Callie: …Bakura!

All:???

Callie: He _looks_ like a girl!

Isis!

All: (silence)

Isis: ME?!

She's so pretty!

Téa: Yugi and…and…Isis?! (cries/sobs)

But Im married!

Seto: (sarcastically) Well, that was a quick change.

--to Mr. Nobody!!!!!!

YAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Callie: Wait a second…. "MISTER"?!

Téa: (sobs louder)

Yami: But I thought—(confused) I never knew…

Yugi: I AM NOT GAY!!

Malik: It's nothing to be ashamed of!

Yugi: I'm not ashamed! I mean, I AM NOT GAY!!!!

Malik: Suure…

Callie: Naw, he's tellin' the truth. He likes a girl. ^_^

THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!!! DOYOU SEE MY NEW PADDED ROOMMMMM/?@

Ryou: This person has issues.

Nakuru: Serious issues. How'd they get the story on this plane?

All: (shrug)

fygu hdyfguegf

All:???

hfgyrly  y878ujhsddgdh

All: ?????

dfjygvyrgrugbaigh,mthnaiBYE!dyhgrhgBYE!hgjfg,jhg…………………………….

All: Uhh….

Pilot: _We are now resting in Moscow! Have a nice trip to London, UK, for those continuing!_

Nakuru: That was fast.

Seto: Yeah. Well, break time!

And they all got out of the plane for a wait of TEN HOURS!!!!!

***

Fey: In the next episode of Passions…

Bakura: (pokes Fey) Wrong script.

Fey: Oh. I mean, in the next chapter…

Together: WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY'RE INCREDIBLY BORED AND HAVE TEN HOURS TO SPARE!!!

(bow out)

(cackles are heard)


	4. Evil Tomatoe Attack!

Fey: Hiiii!!!! Tasha, Sungirl and Meowiegirl, Crys and Rakka, and uh…Rutu!!!  ARIGATOU!!!! I love reviews!! I think I have ten now! :D

Bakura: (rolls eyes) What an idiot. (imitating Hermione)

Fey: Hey! I love Harry Potter! (hugs him)

Bakura: (very surprised) No! Stop..the..hugging…or else I won't be your muse anymore! 

Fey: NO! You're so funny! And insane-like!!!

Bakura: Ah…is that supposed to be a compliment?

Callie: **_I_** am the Queen of All Things Random and Insane!!!! I thought you were my friend!!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY TITLE!!!!! (back roundhouse-kicks Bakura)

Bakura: AAAAIIIIEEEE!!!! (flies off somewhere)

Fey: Oh no! I have to go find him! But first I gotta type! Type? Or Bakura? Type? Bakura? Type? Or Bakura?! Augh!!!! (sighs) Typing makes a cooler noise!! XD

Bakura, somewhere in the Gobi Desert: AUUUGH!!!! (falls in poo) Grrr…SOMEONE'S GONNA PAY!!!! I know! Yami! Bwahahaha…

Ah, right, Pairings: Yugi/Téa (Gomen Tasha!), Joey/Mai, Tristan/Serenity, Callie/Ryou, Isis/Marik or Yami (bahahaha!), Seto/Nakuru, Bakura/blonde girl or Malik, Yami/another yami who isn't here yet.

***

The gang was in the airport, and was very bored.

Seto: Sooo…

Nakuru: Sooo…

Joey: Sooo…

Serenity: Sooo…

Tristan: S—

Callie, Téa: SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!!!!

Callie: I know what this'll become!!! Something very annoying! And we'll shut you up now!!!

Tristan: I was gonna say, SOOOODDDAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Cause look, there's some now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yaaaah!!!!!!!!!! (runs for snack store)

Joey: Yeah! Anyone ever try Russian soda? 

All: No.

Joey: I WANNA BE FIRST!!!

Tristan: NO, MEEE!!!

Joey: MEE!!!

Tristan: MEEE!!!!

Joey: MEEE!!!!

Ryou: (trying to shut them up) Uh, guys, isn't that a McDonald's…?

Joey, Tristan: YAY!!! RUSSIAN HAMBURGERS!!!! (run to Mickey D's) (start fighting again)

Ryou: (sweatdrop) That wasn't supposed to happen!

Blonde Girl: Hey, Bakura, will you go out with me?

Bakura: Uh…(evil grin) Bakura? (cackles) Bakura's no longer here! [Quote]

Callie: Yes, he is! You moran, you're him! 

Bakura: Eep.

Blonde Girl: GO OUT WITH ME!! (runs after Bakura, drooling)

Bakura: YYYAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

***

Fey: Iie!!! He's mine! (hugs him)

Bakura: (grins and peace signs)

Fey: (sniffs the air) Eww, what's that smell?

Bakura: Uhh…me?

Fey: (lets go) (gags) Go take a shower, man!

Bakura: (feels unloved) Okay….

***

Yugi: Hey, will we see people in kilts?

Ryou: No, that's Scotland.

Téa:  What about people in saris?

Callie: Téa-san, that's India. Oh, and no.

Mai: People in ten-gallon hats?

Seto: Uh…No, I think that's Texas.

Nakuru: People in cool togas?

Serenity:  Isn't that Greece? ^-^ I just saw _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_!

Yami: What about people in African print clothes?

All: (sweatdrop)

Isis: You baka, that's Africa!

Yami: Oh. Right. (blushes)

Malik: People in kimonos?

Marik: Stupid hikari! That's Japan!!! Where do you think we came from?!

Malik: (dense) Uh, we come from Egypt.

All: . (fall down anime-style)

Bakura: What about guys in clean, white coats?

Callie: THAT'S THE INSANE AND RANDOM WARD!!! WHAT I AM QUEEN OF!!! (cackles)

All: Riiiight…

Ryou: Like Bedlam. 

All: ???

Ryou: (frowns) Remember _A Christmas Carol_? Scrooge says that that's the place Fred and Crachit should go…?

Callie: (starry eyes) Can we go a check it out when we get to London?

Ryou: -_-;; No. I'm afraid they might take you away. (thinks) **They most likely will if she proclaims herself Queen of All Things Random & Insane again….**

Mai: Aww…How sweet. Ryou's trying to protect her!

Ryou: (blushes) Ah, no! It's not what you think! Noo! (gets redder)

All girls except Callie: Oh, he he he!

Callie: (likes Ryou but is STILL clueless) ^_^;;; ?

Mai: Let's go shopping! 

All girls except Callie and including Malik: YAY!! (starry eyes)

Callie: Augh! No!

Serenity: Callie-san, why are you screaming?

Callie: You're one of my best friends, Serenity, so I'll tell you…

Téa: (shouts) SHE'S A TOTAL TOMBOY!!! HAHA! XD

Callie: I was just gonna whisper…

People: (watching all this, and think everyone in their group is crazy)

Callie: WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT US FOR?! STOP OR I'LL…I'LL…uh….can't think of anything mean…..

Marik: Oh, hmm, they must be terrified of you now, Callie!

Callie: (ignores him) Uh, I'll…I'LL THROW EVIL TOMATOES AT YOU!!!

People: (roll eyes and laugh at this)

Seto: Huh? Isn't that…a card?

Bakura: Yes, and a very powerful one at that!

Callie: (miffed) STOP QUOTING YOURSELF!!! (uproots a tree that suddenly sprout up in the airport) (proceeds to chase Bakura with it)

Bakura: GWWAAAAH!!!!!!!!! 

Ryou: (to Yugi) He's getting a good workout, isn't he?

Yugi: He needs it. XP

Malik: (to Callie, as she passes) Uh, I thought you were gonna throw Evil Tomatoes at them?

Callie: Oh. Right. (uses magic so everyone has a big pile in front of them)

Evil Tomatoes: Behehehe…:)

People: 0.0 WAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!! (run in a million different directions and sometimes bump into each other and walls) 

By this time, Joey and Tristan had come back (and had gained a lot of weight). _They_ didn't have any tomatoes, or have any idea of the fight going on….

So they were attacked in midfire! (So they lost all the weight they gained…they seem to do that a lot…^_^;;)

Joey: (gets pelted with tomatoes) YAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!! (falls)

Tristan: (is getting pelted too) (shakes him) Where'd these Evil Tomatoes come from?!

Joey:  (gets up) Oh! So that's what they are! I thought I was dead! ^_^ (licks some of it) Ew! These are rotten!

Tristan: Eurgh! I bet this is Callie!

Joey: (rolls eyes) Dude! Who else can do this?!

Tristan: Dude! Bakura? I dunno!

Suddenly, both Callie and Bakura go past, with Callie still holding her tree.

Tristan and Joey: O.o

Callie: I'll get you! I'll GET YOU! THE QUEEN OF ALL THINGS RANDOM AND INSANE CANNOT FAIL!!

Bakura: (not listening, just screaming) WAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey: Du—I mean, Tristan, we'd better lay off saying "dude". It's starting to annoy her!

Tristan: Wasn't that the point?!

Joey: -_-;; Well, we'd better stop, 'cause she's gonna come after _us_ with that tree for not saying dudettes!

Tristan: Don't call me dudette!

Joey: Just don't call _me_ one, man!

Nakuru: All my E.T.s are gone.

Seto: E.T.s?

Nakuru: You know, Evil Tomatoes?

Seto: Oh. ^_^ Cool name!

Nakuru: (blushes) Arigatou!

Everyone else, except Joey, Tristan, Bakura, and Callie: All mine are gone too!

Joey, Tristan: (cleaning all the E.T. off themselves)

Callie: (is still chasing after Bakura)

Bakura: (is getting very tired and being chased) (gasp) (gasp) (gasp) (falls)

Callie: (hits him with the tree) Ahh. I feel great! (takes the tree and throws it somewhere, where it hits the Innocent Bystander) (helps Bakura up) (smiles)

Innocent Bystander: (reading Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt still) O.O (gets hit by tree) X_x

Ryou: (sees this and groans)

Callie: Aahhh! That was fun, wasn't it?

Bakura: -_-;;; It was all a game to you?!

Callie: (grins) Yuperronies! XD Why, you thought it was real? (giggles)

Mai: Ah. Well, OFF TO THE MALL!!! (drags everyone except the girls, excluding Callie, including Malik)

Everyone not mentioned above: Augh! NO!!!!

***

Fey: Gomen. To be continued….

Bakura: (comes back after showering) 

Fey: YaY! (hugs him)

Bakura: YaY! (feels loved again)

Fey: (hugs him one time for good measure) I will write more! But I need more emails and reviews and UPDATES FROM YOU GUYS!!!

Together: BYE!!! 


	5. Attack! With shopping and obsession!

Fey: Okay, Dark-Phoenix, Callie has something to tell you…

Callie: I am the Devi/Megami/Ubaste of all things Random and Insane. I'm the Indian-Japanese-Egyptian version—you must be the American version, Ms. Queen of Bunnies!

Bakura: Ah. Okay, well Sungirl and Fay—

Fey: (grins)

Bakura: Not you!

Fey: T_T

Bakura: Uhh, well, sorry about the whole Yugi thing. Téa and Kaiba—

Fey: Yeccchh.

Bakura: Well, Fey doesn't like that pairing.

Callie: At all. (pause) Bakura, you're queer.

Bakura: I am not! Where'd you get that from?!

Callie: Look above.

Bakura: (looks) Oh, right, the…thing of all things random and insane.

Callie: ON WITH THE STORY!! Oh, Fey doesn't own anything you recognize from somewhere other than her fanfiction.

***

Our uh,…heroes are on their way to the mall. 

Isis: (whispers) Nakuru, you like Kaiba-kun, right?

Nakuru: No! I most certainly do not!!

Mai: You might have gone to Oxford College in England, and you might be the oldest here, but you can't tell that you like Kaiba?

Nakuru: I DON'T!!!

Téa: (laughs) Liar.

Serenity: You should tell him how you feel.

Callie: In English. (A/N: Let's just say they've been speaking Japanese except when they talk to the people here and in Europe, 'kay?)

All girls: Naaaanniii…?!

Callie: Well, why not? C'mon! Just give it a shot, okay?

All other girls except Nakuru: Yeah! C'mon!

Mai: Such a cute couple!

Nakuru: (blushes) Errr…okay. (goes up to Kaiba)

Kaiba: Hey, you want to tell me something?

Nakuru: Huh!? How'd you know?

Kaiba: Well, I saw all those girls talking around and to you, and they were giggling too. And some of them were looking at me. ^_^ Does this have to do with work?

Nakuru: -_-;;;(sweatdrop) (thinks) How'd I fall in love with such a thick guy?! That seems to run in the family. Ryou and I all seem to fall for clueless, dense, and thick people….

***

Fey: Wow, that's true. Hey, maybe I should stop here for the suspense! Hahahaa…!!!!!!!!!

Bakura: Baka-san! You've only written less than 200 words! (bops her—again!)

Fey: You just said Baka-san…Baka means idiot, right?

Bakura: Riiiight.

Fey: And "san" is a term of affection, si?

Bakura: Oui…

Fey: So you just called me an idiot affectingly and then you bopped me?!

Bakura: Uhhh, yeah, that's about right. -_-;;; (sweatdrop)

***

Kaiba: Sooo, what'd you wanna say?

Nakuru: Ah-ash—(covers her mouth)(thinks) Callie-san said in English…why don't I do that?

Kaiba: Well?

Nakuru: Ah—Ahhh…

Kaiba: You arent' going to sneeze, are you?

Nakuru: No! Errr…(freaks out and forgets all she learned on English) Errr! **_I EAT YOU!!_**

Kaiba:  (sweatdrops) E-Excuse me?

Nakuru: Oh, dammit! (thinks) Okay I'll try again. (talks) Waaaah…(freaks out completely this time) **_CAMEL SPIT!!!_**

Kaiba: (bigger sweatdrops) Na-NANI?!

Nakuru: Ohh! (runs back to the girls)

Isis: (sweatdrops) Maybe you should say it in Japanese?

Callie: (whispering) Just don't sneeze when saying it, okay?

Nakuru: Er, okay. (goes back to Kaiba)

Kaiba: Are you okay?!

Nakuru: (blushes) Yeah.

Kaiba: What'd'you want to tell me?

Nakuru: err, Seto, we've been friends for a while and…I…Ash—(sneezes and talks at the same time) **_ASHITERU!!!_**

Kaiba: Geisundeit! (sry w/spelling)

Nakuru: T_T Err…I'll tell you later! (goes back to girls)

Kaiba: ???? Okaaay….

All boys: (roll their eyes because THEY get it)

Téa: So? Did you tell him?

Nakuru: Err, not exactly…

Mai: Hey, look! Macy's! (goes in dragging all the boys minus Malik, plus Callie) (Oy Vay, Macy's is taking over the world!)

Téa: Ohh!!! What should we buy?

Nakuru: Let's not buy anything—let's just try stuff on that we like!

Isis: And we could make the boys try on stuff!

Boys excluding Malik: Yaaaahhh!!!!!

Malik: Ohohohohoho…

***

Tomoyo/Madison(ugh-dubbed name): HEY! That's my laugh!!! How dare he?!

Fey: Oy, what're you doing here? You're supposed to be in the Card Captor Sakura books and fanfiction! Besides, you're paired with Eriol, not Malik!

Tomoyo: (blushes) Oh! N-no! (POOF!)

Bakura: What's Card Captor Sakura?

Fey: O.o You don't know?! Here! (hands him CCS book 1) Now read!

Bakura: ^_^ Hey, this is cool!

Fey: (to you only) He's gonna KILL me when he finds out it's shoujo manga!!

***

Callie: (whew) I'm safe. (She's not a boy, if you don't get it.-_-;;)

Serenity: Ah, and what about Callie-san?

Isis: (laughs—a bit evilly) Her too.

Callie: Ahh! No! (thinks fast) Uhhh, Bakura-chan! (grabs him)

Bakura: Nani?

Callie: (thinks) Oh Gods, what am I doing… (talks) You know that song that you liked and heard in the car?! Let's go to the CD store and check it out! 

Tristan, Ryou: (quickly) We'll go too!

Serenity: (giggles) I'll come to, Callie-san.

All of them went. Of course, the girls tried to stop them, but they had already left.

Joey, Kaiba, Yugi, Yami, Marik: Hey, guys wait!!!

Yugi: Too late!

Joey: Noo!!! Come back! Be our heroes! (falls down on the ground on his knees and beats the ground) HELP!

Yami: Joey-kun, this is no time for that!

Girls left: (cackle like maniacs) HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (whip crack) *Snap*

Boys left, 'cept for Malik: NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

*

Bakura: So, what was that song called?

All except Bakura and his hikari: (nervous about him thinking TOO much on blood) Uhhh…

Ryou: Eerr…. (that's what Brits say! :D)

Serenity: It was called…"I Love You"! 

All except Bakura: O.o;;

Bakura:  Oooh…really? Who's it by?

Others: (muffled snorts and laughs because Bakura actually BELIEVES them)

Serenity: (covers her mouth so as not to laugh) Barney.

Bakura: What section is he in?

Tristan: (checks the store signs) Hm, it should be over there. (points to "Little Kids' Section; Worldwide Baby Songs")

Bakura: Are you sure?

Tristan: Positive, man.

Bakura: OKAY! (hops over there)

There was a shocked silence.

Ryou: (slowly) Is it just me, or did my yami just…_hop_…over to the kids' section?

Serenity:  Oh-ho, yeah.

Callie: That was the great Tomb Robber hopping.

After this, the other teenagers—

Callie: I'm not a teenager!

Amaya, he yami: You must certainly are!

Callie: Well, not totally! (sticks out her tongue) 

—Okay, the other people who were there started to listen to their songs on the headphones that were given.

Ryou: (listening to "I Tried So Hard")

Tristan: (listening to "Just Push Play")

Callie, Serenity: (listening to Aretha Franklin's "Respect") (I love that song, anyone know where to download it?)

When, suddenly, two figures were staring out of the bushes at Serenity and Callie.

Figure #1: Are you sure?

Figure #2: Absolutely. See, the girl with the brown-red hair is wearing a handbag with the tag "Japan" on it?

F#1: And the other?

F#2: Look at her hair, man. Only certain girls can have that kind of hair, and besides, she's friends with the brown haired one.

F#1: Okay…when I say three….

F #1 & F#2: THREE! (both jump out and attack Callie and Serenity by putting chloroform cloths over their mouths) (take them somewhere)

The boys in the music store: (haven't noticed quite yet)

*

Yugi: (to Joey) Why don't you talk to Mai? She's the one leading them.

Joey: Yeah, but she's also the one with Isis holding a whip each!

Since the last time we saw our friends in Macy's, they'd been promised to being forced to wear clothes. Every kind. Boys' clothes, girls' clothes, pants, jeans, dresses, skirts….I think one was forced into trying on a wedding dress…look, here he comes now.

Yami: (wearing wedding dress) This is a disgrace! I am a Pharoah! Y'hear?! A PHA-raoh!!!!!!!!!!

All girls + Malik: (snerk) (snort/smirk) (My word!)

Amaya, Callie's yami, who joined the group just then on one of her airplanes: We-ell, the Pharaoh look's mighty fine in what he's wearing, that's all I'm sayin'!

Yami: (blushes)

All: (snicker)

Yami: (blushes harder and starts to rant some more)

*

Some place in Moscow, Serenity and Callie are both waking up to a locked white room in two beds.

Serenity: (getting up bleary-eyed) Callie-san?

Callie: (getting up, but refusing to open her eyes) Ne?

Serenity: Uh. Where are we?

Callie: (rubs her eyes) No idea, Serenity. No idea. But we'll get out somehow! I promise! Now, let's see if I can conjure a tree to break the door down….

***

Fey: Don't worry. I'll update soon. But, we have something to tell you.

Bakura: February 26th 2003, is Holocaust Memorial Day. Please remember this event. We don't want history to repeat itself.

Callie: And don't hate the German, Japanese, or Italian on what their relatives might've done. It's harder for them then it is you.

Everyone in Fey's fics, Fey: (silent)


End file.
